Issue #1

Review: Passage reminds me of the new age of politics (Or I should say, that bastard Uncle Sam...). Our youth is stripped much more vigorously than gradually. In many ways, the youth is blind. The ravaging after effects of our so called leaders is critical. They feed from our taught ignorance as we suffocate under their programming. The message in my eyes are so clear and as an advocate for the youth, I can honestly say I've bled many times for the fight. It's been a long raging war between victim and survivor. The awful protection of man and the mass shedding of our world has made it ever so shallow. More so, it has become a vile place of life. Its inner core is our youth. It contains "all childish innocence". It indeed has been, "washed away by fear". Our rights have been infringed upon and genocide has been committed on a multitude of levels. Being that our society and children are already corrupted beyond repair, could we all say that we are physically forced to, "...boldly join the fight..." ? This generation is naked. We're virgins compared to our brethren before us. They fought, they rebelled, they sang. The men and women before us were indeed stronger. We are only lambs compared to their fight as we bask in their effortless victory of what once was... or is now becoming our battle, yes? However, we are spoiled...rotten. We have taken up something we will never understand because of how we are being led as people. And sadly, many of us are returning to the infant age. We are slowly retrogressing back into the coves of our beginning. This is what I refer to as Years in Elder... and the steam that had once shone brightly is dimming. Our beginning is intertwining with our demise. Many of us, tired from our force fed practices are heading into the "...boundless deep..." much earlier than anticipated.

Critique: First stanza

To that from which I've come..."

I can't truly say this is a critique, more so as my opinion. I wouldn't take it too seriously (unless I state otherwise), to each write his own. So even though I might see an off-like approach about this particular section, each writer has their own style (For example, I write very purple: Meaning that, I write very descriptively--classically I like to add). Nevertheless, I will continue with my thoughts.

Critique Problem: Highlighted In Black

 As a reader, I'm all about flow. I love fluid writing because it gives the appearance of movement. I found this sentence to be a tad bit off from the rest of your stanza. However, the topic does refer to the rest of your poem. Possibly if written with the same words, but rephrased, it would create a better impact. Being that it is the first stanza, impact is essential to grip your readers. 

Conclusion: Again, Passage may have been a short read but it left an everlasting mark in my mind. Very well written. Seeing as though I'm looking for inspiration for my next big idea, this has opened a door to my imagination.